Ginger Films
Tradition, With a Conversation
Many couples today want to honour their rituals and also understand them. Some keep them as they are. Some adapt them. Both choices are valid.
Kanyadaan: What It Means
Traditionally, kanyadaan means "the giving of the daughter." The bride's parents place her hand in the groom's, which symbolises entrusting her to a new family.
For many parents, it's one of the most emotional moments of their lives.
How Some Couples Are Adapting It
- Both sets of parents bless the couple together
- Parents place the couple's hands together as a union of equals
- Some reword it as welcoming, not giving away
- Many families keep it exactly as tradition holds
Vidaai: What It Means
Vidaai is the bride's farewell to her family home. It's often filled with tears, rice thrown backwards (in many traditions, as a wish for prosperity for the home she leaves), and hugs that last a little longer.
How Some Couples Are Adapting It
- Treating it as "see you soon," not goodbye
- Keeping it short and joyful
- Including the groom's family in comforting the bride's
How to Talk About It With Family
💡 Tip: Have these conversations early, ideally 3-4 months before the wedding. Bringing up ritual changes a week before the ceremony creates unnecessary stress. Early conversations give everyone time to reflect and come around.
- Learn the meaning first. Ask elders or your pandit.
- Share what the ritual means to you.
- Listen to what it means to them.
- Find a version everyone feels good about.
Key takeaway: Rethinking a ritual isn't rejecting it. It's making sure it means something to everyone standing in the mandap.
If these talks get heated, our guide on when your parents want a different wedding than you do can help.
Other Rituals Couples Discuss
| Ritual | Traditional Meaning | How Some Couples Adapt It |
|---|---|---|
| Joota chupai | Playful bonding between families | Mostly kept as-is for the fun |
| Mangalsutra | Symbol of married status | Some make it mutual or choose modern designs |
| Sindoor | Mark of marriage for the bride | Some couples apply it to each other |
| Gathbandhan | Knot tying the couple together | Almost universally loved and kept |
| Bidaai rice | Prosperity for the bride's home | Some skip the tears and keep it joyful |
📋 Quick list: Conversation starters for ritual discussions
- "I've been reading about what this ritual means. Can we talk about how our family does it?"
- "This part of the ceremony is really important to me. Here's why..."
- "I know this matters to you. Can we find a version that feels right for both of us?"
Whatever You Choose, It's Emotional
Whether traditional or adapted, these moments are full of feeling. That's what we love to capture.
