Ginger Films
Tradition, With a Conversation
Many couples today want to honour their rituals and also understand them. Some keep them as they are. Some adapt them. Both choices are valid.
Kanyadaan: What It Means
Traditionally, kanyadaan means "the giving of the daughter." The bride's parents place her hand in the groom's, which symbolises entrusting her to a new family.
For many parents, it's one of the most emotional moments of their lives.
How Some Couples Are Adapting It
- Both sets of parents bless the couple together
- Parents place the couple's hands together as a union of equals
- Some reword it as welcoming, not giving away
- Many families keep it exactly as tradition holds
Vidaai: What It Means
Vidaai is the bride's farewell to her family home. It's often filled with tears, rice thrown backwards (in many traditions, as a wish for prosperity for the home she leaves), and hugs that last a little longer.
How Some Couples Are Adapting It
- Treating it as "see you soon," not goodbye
- Keeping it short and joyful
- Including the groom's family in comforting the bride's
How to Talk About It With Family
💡 Tip: Have these conversations early, ideally 3-4 months before the wedding. Bringing up ritual changes a week before the ceremony creates unnecessary stress. Early conversations give everyone time to reflect and come around.
- Learn the meaning first. Ask elders or your pandit.
- Share what the ritual means to you.
- Listen to what it means to them.
- Find a version everyone feels good about.
Key takeaway: Rethinking a ritual isn't rejecting it. It's making sure it means something to everyone standing in the mandap.
If these talks get heated, our guide on when your parents want a different wedding than you do can help.
Other Rituals Couples Discuss
| Ritual | Traditional Meaning | How Some Couples Adapt It |
|---|---|---|
| Joota chupai | Playful bonding between families | Mostly kept as-is for the fun |
| Mangalsutra | Symbol of married status | Some make it mutual or choose modern designs |
| Sindoor | Mark of marriage for the bride | Some couples apply it to each other |
| Gathbandhan | Knot tying the couple together | Almost universally loved and kept |
| Bidaai rice | Prosperity for the bride's home | Some skip the tears and keep it joyful |
📋 Quick list: Conversation starters for ritual discussions
- "I've been reading about what this ritual means. Can we talk about how our family does it?"
- "This part of the ceremony is really important to me. Here's why..."
- "I know this matters to you. Can we find a version that feels right for both of us?"
Whatever You Choose, It's Emotional
Whether traditional or adapted, these moments are full of feeling. That's what we love to capture.
Frequently asked questions
What does kanyadaan mean?
Traditionally, 'the giving of the daughter', when the bride's parents place her hand in the groom's, symbolising entrusting her to a new family.
How are modern couples adapting kanyadaan and vidaai?
Some have both sets of parents bless the couple together, frame it as welcoming rather than giving away, or keep vidaai short and joyful. Many keep the rituals exactly as tradition holds.
How do I talk to my family about changing a ritual?
Learn its meaning first, share what it means to you, listen to what it means to them, and start the conversation well before the wedding.
